Drama. Drama. Drama.

It's never good when thinking of all the activities you need to partake in today bring the Jaws theme to your mind. Today is the day I have to talk to my section about their horribly disrespectful behavior last Friday. I am not particularly looking forward to this speech. I spent about 20 minutes in my Romans/Galatians class writing it. I'm nervous. I hate to have to tell my section how disappointed I am in then when really it is only a few of them, but then again I can't point people out even though they all know who was the cause of the chaos last Friday, the question is if those people themselves know. If they don't know now, they will. We also switched rooms with the 1st sopranos which I am not looking forward to because my section already has issues with looking in the mirror too much during class, what are they going to do with themselves in a room full of mirrors?! The accompanist is coming in to help me today, I also am not looking forward to that. She makes me nervous as I have addressed in previous posts and she tends to take over in the middle of my sectional. I don't want anyone to play for me or to help me, all I want is to sit at the piano, play the notes for them, and be in control of my WHOLE sectional, not just the directing (which has never been my specialty, then again I have never really tried because it makes me nervous and I don't know how). I wish I could really listen to what Sage is saying, I can't focus to save my life. Hopefully I pass the exam next week, thank God for the reading, otherwise I would be so screwed. I am really excited about this weekend, my get away with my man for my birthday. There is so much drama going on with this special event that was supposed to be fun and enjoyable for me, being the birthday girl and all. I am aware my birthday is not for 6 more days and that next weekend is technically my "birthday weekend" but I had to move that because DH informed me I was not allowed to miss Dinner Rally (which is the concert going on that weekend, not that anyone would notice my absence), but he told me he may have to have me "tell them to do something," but I think he just didn't want the other directors to find out and he would look bad. Anyway, Chris moved my surprise weekend to this weekend instead not realizing that I had a concert this Sunday. I figured I could miss it, just being a half hour show for old people where there isn't even a sermon or food for us. We just go, sing, and leave. Having been there my freshman year I didn't see it as being a big deal because they old people home is so laid back, but according to DH, it's a huge deal. He is just worried the girls will notice my absence, not that they will care but whatever. So when I told him I wouldn't be there this Sunday he wigged and told me to move it Dinner Rally weekend (the one we had in the first place and my actually birthday weekend) and that he doesn't care if I miss that. When I told him he told me I couldn't miss that, he denied it. I told him I couldn't move it again, and if I cancel Chris will lose his deposit and he has been saving up for this and trying to do something special for me. To top it all off, he says if I miss he is going to drop my grade by a whole letter which would be a "B" but it still affects my GPA and how stupid to get a B in choir, especially when you are the president. I told him the only options were not going to the concert and getting my grade dropped, not going to the weekend and just staying for some stupid half hour concert on Sunday, or going to the weekend and driving through the night to get here by 8:30 am on Sunday and be cranky, tired, and probably not sing the half hour show and be pissed about it. I talked to many people, including my mom who agrees with me and understands and says she will support whatever I decide and I decided I'm doing the weekend. Hopefully he doesn't remember at the end of the year, the officers decide not to drop my grade, but mostly it's my birthday and I'm not willing to give it up for DH or the choir I give my whole life, heart, and soul for and just want this one thing. DUMB.

...to be continued

As promised, my "to be continued" of Tuesday's blackout. Once I got home, Jasmine and I used our laptops for light and the one tiny flashlight I happened to bring with me to school. We were in the middle of jumping up and down, making enemies with the people below us and listening to Party in the U.S.A by Miley Cyrus at full volume when I got a phone call from Daniel from Jamba. I figured their power was out but couldn't figure out why he could be calling me. He told me they were having a party at Jamba with pizza and music and taking pictures. He wanted me to come over, bring my camera, and hang out. Attempting to get out of it, I told him I didn't want to walk over there with the blackout, he told me he would come get me. He kept pushing for me to go and attempting to reject him but still be kind, I said I couldn't leave my roommate, I had homework, and I didn't feel like walking over there. Sure enough, being stubborn Daniel, he walked over to get me and stood outside of the gate waiting for me. My roommate Jasmine, being awesome, let me leave then came out on the balcony right as I got to the gate wrapped in a blanket saying," You aren't going to leave me all alone are you?" I laughed so hard I tripped then could not stop laughing. I told him I couldn't leave her and he got mad and asked why I hadn't told him she was alone and I said I did. He told me he "jaywalked" for me and I said congrats? Sorry but I can't leave her. So he left angrily, and I ran upstairs and hugged my roommate and preceeded to jump around when suddenly the lights came on. It was a good night. Downside is that I keep telling Chris he is crazy and there is no way Daniel has any feelings for me, I am now starting to believe him.....

Without Technology Access, We Fall Apart

My favorite part of the blackout last night, had to be the fact that every other class was cancelled, but guess who is still working hard, standing in the hallway practicing because the rooms have no lights. Yes, that's right, Chamber Singers. They could all be bleeding from the head and I believe there would still be a rehearsal, it would just a fairly messy one, yet still most certainly productive if Queen Jensen had anything to say about it. I think she is brillantly insane. If there is anything to say about her insanity is that they are as good as they are due to this distinct quality. BB (before blackout) I walked into Oratorio late due to having to change for Preparing the Total Performer. Lucky for me Chris had talked me into going to class, because when I walked in I found we were having a full rehearsal with the orchestra and all. I also found out that we have a performance on Tuesday. Good thing I went to class. Sitting next to my section was Dr. Sutton who told me I probably wouldn't be able to get to the middle of the row and kindly went and got me a chair. Singing Beethoven's Ninth standing next to Sutton and having the soloists right in front of me and voice teachers (including my own) behind me was quite nerve racking so I worked the hardest I have ever sung. It was cool when Sutton leaned over and told me he liked this part of the song, it was good to know he didn't hate me which I am still sensitive about, but he talked to me in such a friendly way. Preparing the Total Performer went well, we worked on my singing, twice! She had me walk back and forth while I sang, and I was thrilled that my nerves disappeared and this class that I feel so inferior in saw my true voice and colors come out. After class, Professor Hinds pulled me aside and told me I had a beautiful voice I just need to enjoy it more. Awesome! Later, to my great delight, I ran into Sutton who literally said, despite the whole choir singing, the orchestra, the soloists, and everything else he could have noticed in that whole rehearsal, he told me "Good job today Christina!" I was so unbelievably blown away, extremely flattered, and most definitely thrilled. That completely made my night. It just got better from there, well, at least more interesting. The whole building being dark, I didn't have my voice lesson, plus I couldn't find my voice teacher. I hung out at the music building for the next hour, partly because I didn't know if Pat would show up and partly because it was dark and there was no way in hell I was walking back to my apartment in the wind and cold by myself in the dark. I tried calling Jonathan but he was busy, and didn't want to make him walk from the mods just to walk me to my apartment. I really need more guy friends. Anyway, there was an alarm going off by the office next to the elevator and these foreign exchange students thought it was going off because there was someone stuck in the elevator so they called campus safety but couldn't relate their message properly. To my horror, one of them hands me the phone and tells me to tell them what is going on so I tell them, "They think there is someone stuck in the elevator." They didn't even let me say that I didn't think there was, or that they only thought that due to the alarm, but campus safety said thanks then hung up. Not 20 minutes later, after which they only sound coming from the elevator was the damn alarm which was off pitch, by the way, the 2 fireman and 2 campus safety officers walk in with picks and axes. I wanted to laugh but was way to shocked and excited for this excitement to say a word. Watching this all occur and the fireman try to see if someone is in there and attempting to find the "elevator room" (whatever that is) a guy on my left and girl on my right lean over to me and says, "what pitch do you think the alarm is?" I said, "Are you serious right now?!," and the guy says, "It is between G and A." I was so shocked, music majors are such nerds. Then later these three people stand around the alarm and test it with a pitch device on their iPhone, ridiculous. I finally told one of the firemen, after about 40 minutes mind you, that I saw who called and explained what really happened and that the people who called were foreign and he suddenly understood. Convinced the excitement was over, and tired of being stuck in the music building, I called Kari and she came and got me with two of her guy friends. Shockingly no, that is not the end of the eventfullness of the evening. to be continued..........

From Smiles to Sorrow

Oh the awkward beginnings of relationships which span through the elements of like, to love, to the futile breakups and heartache. It seems everyday, everywhere, there is a couple awkwardly avoiding one another, "playing it cool," and enjoying the random giddiness of having a crush that leaves a stupid happy smile splattered across your face at the randomest of moments. Somewhere else, is someone hurting, grieving, crying, or screaming in hate or pain at being parted with by another. I think Joan Crawford says it best, "Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your heart or burn down your house, you can never tell." Listening to people talk about liking someone who is taken or someone who doesn't know they like them warms MY heart. To be in that special/nauseating time of your love life is intriguing and slightly hilarious to me. For the sake of saving my friend some embarrassment, I will leave names out. Let's call him Yohan. Tonight he would like me to go to dinner with him and invite the girl in my choir, let's call her Kelly. Little does he know, I already have plans this evening but intend on telling him at the last minute, leaving them to have an awkward first meal together thus forcing them to communicate and get to know each other, if just as friends. He doesn't have much of a choice for anything more than friends, because her heart has already been spoken for, but you never know, he is a bit devious, as he has so proudly informed me. Yohan wants me to, "Make sure it happens," that I invite her tonight, don't worry friend, I will. It will be good for them to be friends, if just for the sake of making another friend. It is always good to have another friend in the music building since we spend so much time here. Well, that reveals a bit too much information. Moving on...

If You Haven't Found Something Strange About Your Day, It Must Have Really Sucked

Woke up at 5am this morning, decided against it and went back to sleep. Then I woke up again and started my 3-5 page single spaced paper at 7:30am this morning when it was due to 10:40. Amazingly, thank you GOD!, finished writing it at 9:20, dressed, then booked it to class. I also was convinced my midterm in that class was today, turns out it is Wednesday and Kristin and I are studying on Tuesday, gotta love my day. Sage just said something about heel toe, which makes me think about line dancing. That sounds really fun right about now. Dancing for Disney today, however, does not sounds fun. I'm trying to figure out what the girl in front of me is doing on her computer, the background is a picture of tall grass and the top of the screen says "Rice." There is a small box that keeps changing maps and a what looks like a picture of a coin next to it. She has been playing on this same screen for 20 minutes and I still cannot figure out the point or what she is doing. Jonathan and I went to the Walk today and got Mexican Bowls, it was quite good. It feels amazing to drink orange soda again. I missed that bubbly, calming feeling as I swallow it's yummy goodness. I do not, however, miss the unability to smile for the next few hours due to having orange teeth. We are now talking about belching apparently... My cough seriously sounds so nasty, it is obnoxious to keep needing to cough. Music majors probably hate me right now but oh well. Yesterday was a choir concert. It was quite pointless driving a big best the 15 minutes to West Covina to sing 2 services and leave at 1. They ended up not feeding us, that was quite weird but that's ok, I got to eat Jack in the Box with my man. He said something about football fields, odd subject for a music room where all of our men are singers, not athletes. Some because they want to be, some because they have to be (they throw like girls). Anyway I think it's stupid that the Cowboys made their dang screen so big at their new field. Why would you make a screen so big, and more importantly, so low, that any kick during the game will hit the dang thing. Imagine getting hit on the head with a football that first got kicked by a professional football player, then hits a giant screen, then lands on your head. Ouch. Wow! Her screen just changed, oh no wait, I lied, it's back again. Man, I have to leave this class early to go change for choir, bummer. Who even bother to walk into class if you are 36 minutes late? Might as well not come, but then again since he will still give you credit, ok never mind I get it. Sage is seriously an encyclopedia of everything and anything musical, he is so impressive. How exciting, this the first time I have ever heard him play something I know, and actually heard the mess ups he always talks about. He is still amazing despite and error or two, he makes it sound right. I have my first D-Group meeting tonight. Should be interesting; Meredith, Kari, Melissa, Chelsea, Callan, and Me. Woo! No I'm excited to have that, sometimes I go back and forth with them in my mind though. I don't like to open myself up so willingly anymore. Sometimes I feel great, other days not so much. We'll see, I'm sure it will be fine though. Dude, I totally thought Goliath was like 20 feet tall or something, not 10 ft. That just ruins the story for me, not really, I honestly thought he was the size of a house though yet Sage just ruined that for me. Seriously, listening to myself think these things before I type them, then seeing it just makes me laugh at how random it is. The End.

Some People Lose Their Keys, I Lose My Voice

I never thought I would see the day where someone calls ME for fashion advice. Getting a frantic message from Jessica telling me she is in desperate need of advice and to call her back. I immediately call her back not five minutes later, and she then proceeds to tell me she is going to a concert tonight and has no idea what to wear, can I come over in 10 minutes. I laugh to myself because this has never happened before and also, I am definitely not the fashion guru, let alone an expert. I then listened to her tell me how she is stressing out then ask my opinion about a type of outfit, I tell her that sounds fine, she calms down, thanks me, and says she will see me in choir. Oh how my life intrigues me sometimes.

Sitting in Baroque, as usual, listening to my genius teacher's melancholy voice droan on about things I can't seem to make myself concentrate on. He is humming something at the moment, what exactly that is I am not quite sure. I have sectionals coming up soon. Sadly, I have no voice and I am not sure how this is going to work. How am I supposed to teach a section if I can't even speak, let alone sing to them. We will see how that goes I guess. This guy's girlfriend is sitting in front of me, she is from a different school and occasionally comes down here and goes to his classes with him. She must me so bored. I think she is a music major at her school however. The only reason I mention this is because she is sitting in front of me and I keep seeing her play with her hair out of the corner of my eye. I love that half this class is not paying any attention to anything that is going on, myself included. Sage is playing music for us not, it is really good, I am paying attention to that. I am so excited my nails are getting long and so it is very awkward to type, they keep clicking. It is really exciting though. I can't wait to go home today, I get to see my man and that is always a good day for me. I was watching the Starter Wife today and this lady is a writer and she does her best writing when she writes in her journals. I wish I could be witty and interesting when I write in my journal, but then again I should just be me. She says she is on her 94 journal since puberty. I wish I was that dedicated to writing in my journal, I should really make it a habit. As you can tell my the scattered dates, I am not that dedicated, not even in my material diary. So..... bored. How in the world am I supposed to hold a sectional and control them when I can't even get them to shut up when I have a voice? 5 more minutes, then sectionals, then choir, then probably an officer meeting, and then home!!!!

I think I am basically writing for the sake of writing by now so I am going to close with this; Thank God It's Friday.

You've Got to be "kidding" me

I'm 19, not 9. I'm not little, I realize I am a little younger than most of the juniors, I am young for my school year, but who cares. I am tired of everyone always telling me I'm little. I'm not the little sister, or the youngster, or the "innocent" one insinuating I am a child. I'm not offended per-say I just don't appreciate being a junior in college and still having this title. I'm not a baby or a child. What makes me little? What makes me younger then them beside technically my age, but they are only a few months to a year older than me, not that big of a difference. How am I SO much younger to categorize me as being the little sister of the group? This isn't even a group, we are roommates, we are equals. Also, to say I party a lot is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard. I do not party. Choir camp is when we do fun things for the freshman, I am out late because I am making sure they are all there, everyone has rides, everyone gets home ok, I drive the homesick and physically sick ones home, I stay out late when the girls need someone to talk to, I'm being the mom if anything, not being a crazy "kid" in college just partying it up. I study very hard, and I have worked my butt off to get to where I am today. My major is one of the toughest majors and if they don't see that then who cares, I know that I work hard. When I come home late sometimes it is because my shift doesn't even end until 11 and I'm lucky to get out of there at ten past 11. I might be studying with someone, but it is RARELY, and I do emphasize rarely, am I doing something just for pure enjoyment. It is just a bit frustrating. They don't even know me and already they have this view of me. It isn't a bad one and I should be grateful this is the one they do have because Lord knows it could be far worse, I just do not appreciate it is all.