Sunday, November 22, 2009
In agony I watch you leave, in joy I long for the hours to quickly pass so that we may be reunited once again. I cry every time he leaves. Being in a long distance relationship is one of the most difficult things I have ever had to face. I thank God every day that the distance is not greater. I now understand that God knew what he was doing when he led all the other men astray. I have dated two military men and I do not believe I am strong enough to endure what those incredible military wives, mothers, sisters, and other women endure every day. I cannot even begin to imagine living without him for months, even years without a touch, a kiss, or even a smile. It would break my heart. I have more respect for those women than I could ever explain, they are incredible, they are the essence of courage in my opinion. I would love to shake every one of their hands, they amaze me with the ability to support, love, and still hold it together for their men as they watch them go off into dangerous, life threatening situations where they have no guarantee that they will indeed return home. I do not think I could do that. It pathetically pains me knowing I will not see him for 7 days. My heart longs to be near his at all times, despite all costs. I have grown so much this past year. I do not render my responsibilities to run home to see him, I understand that we need to deal with the distance and the hardship that comes along with that, it is hard, to say the least, but I think we have come so far and are doing so well. We understand the importance of the lives we are currently living and even if the other is not there, we must go on with our responsibilities and our lives, and know that we will soon be reunited, our love gets us through it all. I hope he knows how much he means to me and the love that flows from every kiss, smile, touch, and gaze that we exchange. He holds my heart, and no one could ever take that away from us.
Saturday, November 21, 2009
I'm sorry, I wasn't aware the ability to clean a dish after using it, or sometime in the near future (meaning not 3 days later), was so unbelievably difficult. I am literally on the verge of having a neurotic combustion due to the lack of cleanliness I am currently experiencing in my residence. Let me clarify, there are (dirty) dishes currently setting up camp in my kitchen sink looking as if they have no intention of vacating the area anytime in the near future! Now my (kind) roommate, who shall remain nameless, believes we need to give my (slob) roommate time to do the dishes on her own. She wants her to "learn" from seeing them sitting there, that we will not clean up after her. I, however, think that she is not a child and is never going to do the dishes! What irritates me more than the fact that they have been sitting in the sink, covered in food particles, since Wednesday, is the fact that whenever we have sat down to have this discussion about dishes as a whole, she is the first to jump in with, "I was always taught that when you use a dish you clean it, so let's try to do that guys!" She rarely cleans her dishes period, let alone right after she uses one!!!! I'm not sure how much longer my (OCD) roommate and I can take this!! We are going crazy, I honestly think we leave on weekends to get away from the mess, not the company. Today is going to be the day I lock myself in my room and do homework, partly because I have work to do, and sadly, partly because I can not stand to look at the mess any longer. Last year I hid from my roommates at all cost, this year I hide from my kitchen sink: what I change in pace.
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
With everyday I come to realize how truly blessed I am so have such a wonderful man as my boyfriend Christopher in my life. Not only does he treat me exceptionally well, as I have always been told I deserve to be treated, but he has the unconditional love to match. I have never for a moment doubted the love he has for me. I always hope he knows I love him as much as I know he loves me. He is such a blessing and treasure that I couldn't imagine living without. I am also so fortunate to have someone as special as my mom in my life. She has been there through everything that has happened in my life, she is my light. I love her so much, words can not describe the impact she has made on my life nor how much I value her opinion, her love, and her devotion to me as the best mom in the world. I am also so grateful for my grandma. She believes in me and she has been my second mom. She is so happy, so lively, and so inspiring. She has most definitely passed these qualities onto my mom and I hope to inherit them one day as well. I wish I could be half the woman these two incredible women are. They do so much for me and have been my pillars through it all, they keep me standing, without which I would fall to pieces.
God, thank you for putting such wonderful people in my life. You have blessed me with a man that loves me, a mom that supports and loves me despite everything I do, and a grandma who makes me realize with every smile how wonderful it is to be alive. Thank you for my dad, you took mine to be with You, but you gave me one to not replace my biological one, just one to give me the love that I felt I was missing and needed. I don't, but need to thank You everyday for the blessings you have bestowed upon me. I pray for my friends, their families, Mr. Schletewitz to feel better, Kari to know she is beautiful and loved in Your eyes and that is all that matters, and the girl who was hit today on the crosswalk. When You take me home, make sure my family know how influential they are to me and how much I love them, I will always love them and I will forever be with them just as they are with me. Thank You for the gift of prayer and the gift of song, but more for the beautiful voice you have bestowed upon me, let me bring glory to You through it and to You be all the praise. Amen