Sectionals = Sucktionals

Let me break this down for you, I officially cannot stand the fact that no one respects someone who has lost their voice, especially when they are standing in front of a choir coughing like crazy whispering at the top of their lungs, pushing their voice to breaking points, then watching their section stare at them in pure distaste and talk crazy amongst themselves. Some of whom are supposedly friends of mine, can I just personally say to that, bull shit. I worked my ass off up there trying to do the best I could without a voice. Then Rebecca, bless her heart, comes in with the alto section and she does this incredible job. Her and her assistant section leader both commented afterward that you could feel the tension and the fact that the sopranos did not want to be there and they apologized profusely that I had to deal with that. I need them to listen, respect me, and understand that I am trying really hard to communicate with them, but I can't. Poor Jen couldn't get the parts to match up the way she wanted and I know felt very uncomfortable with the idea of leading, but tried her best for me. I am emotionally exhausted, after everyone left last night I just cried at how bad it was. I had some great people comforting me, but the fact that those girls sat in the back and as Grace later confirmed talked a ton of shit just made me really mad. Poor Brian, I ran into him after sectionals and just walked up to him and started balling. He hugged while Jen and Grace explained why I was so upset. Once I had pulled away and regained my composure I apologized for my hysterics and he said he understood and had nothing to be sorry for. He said no one wants to be in sectionals so we get the most crap during sectionals because no one respects us. I can't wait for the next time when I have my voice. This is definitely not going to happen twice. I tried to smile and have fun, and be nice even though I was so frustrated. The whole time all I wanted to do was cry. I tried to keep my coughing to a minimum, and it took everything in me not to cry. I have a second sectional to attend today, not even attend, but lead. Luckily, this won't be my first sectional with them and this choir already respects and loves me. It still won't be easy, but them I can deal with. It's this other choir that I just hate.