MIND-boggling

I cannot even seem to process this new information. How do you transfer something from possibilities to reality? I can't seem to get it out of my head. I don't know what to with this. I consistently look at that article trying to make it real, come to life for me so I can process, grieve, and move on. I haven't even cried over it, that is the strangest feeling for me. I feel like I am lying under this giant slab of metal that with one flip of the switch will come down and crush me. For now, it is only there to scare me. I refuse to accept that in actually, it can crush and may very well do just that. Maybe I am denying the facts to spare myself, my feelings, my well-being. Part of me is angry. Angry with myself for not being more upset, angry for being upset, not being able to get upset, and just angry that this is happening. I wish I could say positive things, that is something comforting that goes hand-in-hand with this tragedy, but if they don't believe, how can I say even that? I don't think even we realize how comforting it is to be a Christian, when things get hard we have God, we have this constant love of a Father no matter what. Not everyone has that and we take for granted our obvious advantage and blessing. This is just too unreal to fathom right now.