Sexual Molestation

A subject I guess that lies close to my heart. I wouldn't call it a struggle because I don't struggle with the actions of committing it but the outcomes from it I struggle, for lack of a better word, with it. Women and men are human beings created by God. They are loved by Him, cherished by Him, and are His children who he sent His son to die for. God does not want anything horrible to happen to us but he does find away to turn those hard times around to teach us and to help us grow. He makes them into something good. I know that, yet I still struggle with the reality of it when it slaps me in the face from time to time. Talking about it is a great resource for me which I use often and tears are my comfort and relief but sometimes those aren't enough. I turn to God for he hears my cries and he knows my pain. I have yet to find someone I can really talk to about this and I don't feel comfortable speaking with a counselor so my search continues. I'm coming to find that reason my needs and comforts through this rough patch are not being found are due to the fact that I'm turning to Earthly things or people rather than my Father. He alone is the only one who can get me through this and he provides the people to hug me, the people to love me, and the people to tell me everything will be ok, we'll get through this. My mom did it, my grandma did it, now it's my turn. I'm scared, I'm hurt but the anger is almost nothing. I haven't been angry in a long time but the hurt is still there. I can't honestly say I've forgiven but I try. These feelings and thoughts have not occurred in some time but this past week regrettably brought them back and brought them back strong. My common wish and prayer is that it will just go away, just leave me alone but God knows I need to get through this not run from it like I much rather do but He is going to help me to lean on Him and carry me through this.

This is what I needed to talk about. I can't reflect on it more than that and I hope that's ok. I almost didn't do it but this is what God helped me write because otherwise I don't think I could have.