Comfort Zone

Let's talk a little bit about what my life has been/looked like for the past few weeks.

Choir camp was AMAZING! All the girls are so incredibly wonderful and I had so much fun spending time with them, connecting with them, learning about them, and really getting to know them. It was nice to have a car to drive to the events with this year (thanks to the Mooney's). I got the chance to really get to know the women in my car. They are all so wonderful and have so much to offer. I feel so blessed to be apart of such an incredible group. The parent's dinner went exceptionally well. It was so nice having my mom and grandma there. I walked around like a crazy person and introduced myself to a good chunk of the people, more than last year at least. It was really fun when we took them into a room and let them get to know us. I really do love being in charge, it makes me feel confident and good about myself to be up in front with all my officers backing me up and supporting me. Then we sang, which was nice. Spent a lot of time with Jonathan, love that kid. We have definitely become very close over the past few years and he is definitely my best friend. The whole night he was trying to spot girls he would be interested in dating, then texting me their name telling me to "make it happen." It was nice at the end of the night too. This girl Caitlin came up and somehow ended up spilling her story, she started crying, I hugged her, and I offered (since she was homesick) to come stay with me. She did stay for Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday night, as did another homesick girl that I didn't find out about until the next morning. After talking with Caitlin for quite awhile, Jessica and her parents came up and talked to me. She was on of the girls I spent a lot of time talking to this summer and her parents were so sweet to thank me for talking with her and helping her all summer. I was touched by that. It makes everything that goes wrong all worth it. It reminded me of when Madison (who is now my really good friend) and her parents came up to me and said the same thing during parent's night. Anyway, I offered for Jessica to stay at my apartment as well if she got lonely. She never did take me up on that, but I think that's a good thing. I'm glad she got acquainted with people on her own floor and with her room. So then Monday came around. I was so happy with how many names I knew. I felt like I knew everyone's name by Monday morning since I had been practicing over the summer to get them all down. I did not get to eat breakfast that morning, however, because when I finally found Rachel she walked up to me crying and I had to take her to the counseling office and then go get her when she was done. I know it is bad to baby them when they get here, but I felt she needed that. After dropping her off I spent some time talking to her mom on the phone. She explained she had a hard time with this when she transitioned from junior high to high school as well. Anyway, she ended up staying with me too in my apartment for three nights. So I had two girls with me. One on Joanna's bed in my room (which she still doesn't know). The other one on the couch, because she felt more comfortable there so she could fall asleep with her boyfriend on the phone. Anyway, it wasn't terrible having them stay, but it was exhausting. I get up very early, go to bed late, and I had to be on my "A" game all day with the girls and keep it up, even when I was at home needing a break. So Monday choir camp was fun, we spent a nice amount of time talking, playing games, singing, and all that. I LOVED getting to take my section into a separate room and play my own game with them. We played 2 truths and a lie. You have to do exactly that, say two truths and one lie and they have to decide which one is the lie. It was fun, they didn't get it right. I said I used to be a semi-professional ballroom dancer, I read the Dictionary for fun, and I'm allergic to lemons. They guessed the dancing, but it's the lemons since I'm not allergic to anything. My returner girls couldn't have an opinion since they, most likely, already knew the answer. Anyway, that was the best time getting to know them. I found out on of the girls Elizabeth can speak Romanian and that made me super happy. So the rest of the day went well. We had our communion that night, which was amazing. I got a lot of it recorded on my camera which was so wonderful. It is my favorite time of the year. The sound we make together as singers is just phenomenal and blows my mind every time! The speakers were incredible, I felt so inspired and I was proud of myself for not crying for the first year ever.... and then Jon talked to me... After worship, Jon Lord came up to talk to me. He asked if there was anything he could pray for me about and that just blew me away. He asks every year, but how thoughtful and wise he is about knowing that I need it the most when choir and school begins makes me so happy to be here in a place where people care enough about you to pray for and with you. So I said just for the girls. That they would have a good year and I can help them in anyway I can. I cried a little bit, and jokingly yelled at Jon for always making me cry. So he put his hands on me and gave this wonderful prayer. Jessica G. came up and jumped into our prayer group. It was so nice having her there, because I really do miss her in choir. I never realized how much her presence meant to me until she left. It is good for her and me to not be in an ensemble together again though. Anyway, they both prayed for me, made me cry harder, then she left. I then did something I did not expect to do and is very much out of my comfort zone, which seems to be God's theme for my life this year. I realized I had never asked Jon what I could pray for him about. It occurred to me that many people don't ask him that, based on his shocked expression, because we are so used to him being the one to reach out, but I felt it was necessary for me to reach out to him as my friend and brother in Christ as well. So he told me and I prayed for him, out loud. I am not like that normally. I am very private about my prayer life, I hate praying out loud because as stupid as it sounds, I don't feel like I'm good at it. After praying for him, he hugged me and thanked me. That was so kind and then I went and led a meeting of the officers to debrief the day. It was so nice sitting in front like that, leading, being in charge. I've done it before, but it just felt different this time. I feel different about who I am now. I have grown, I'm older, soon to graduate, it's crazy! So I led the meeting, they even raised their hands to make comments which was fun. Oh, I almost forgot. We talked about classes and gave advice in camp that day. Did not go very well because we all get contradicting each other, and it was very unorganized, but I gave my opinion about being a music major. I didn't sugar coat it, BS it, I told them it was hard. They have to really want this in order to accomplish it. If you don't really want this, it won't be worth it. I know many friends who did it because they "like" music. That's not what this major is about. It is about working your butt off to get what you desire the most. This takes so much time and effort that if you are dreaming about this, you don't want this to be your career or your life, then it won't be worth it to you. I just thought they should know that going in. I wish someone had told me that. I mentioned several times that this was all my personal opinion, but the non-music majors thought I was too harsh and scared them and the music majors thought I did a good job. In the end I made up for it. I told them I had no intention of changing their minds about their major, scaring them away, or making them feel being a music major is terrible. I just want them to know what comes with that. I said yes, it's hard work, but the moment you get up on that stage (this is all I can remember) for your junior recital in your, not gonna lie, gorgeous dress and hear a room full of people scream at the top of their lungs for 5 minutes at you, cheering and supporting you. People in Bel Canto, your family, your friends, and see the love and support you have behind you all along in one room together that you didn't even realize you had, it makes every tear, every stress, every wrong note, everything else disappear and all worth it. The music majors all clapped, so did the choir. That was fun! Anyway, in the meeting they kind of gave me a hard time about that, which made me upset. Then I talked to Arie about it afterward and ended up telling her a little bit about my summer and what I went through with my other officers and she ended up crying with me and telling me I was a good person, I do a good job. It was a very nice moment for us, which I needed, but it was a good day overall. So that was Monday. Tuesday is coming later because I'm tired of writing for now. :)